When Submission becomes a Subject of Discussion- How to know when to submit to a Man



 “Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.”
― Wm. Paul Young

Sometimes ago, I listened to a radio show on issues concerning relationships. Majority of the men that called placed so much emphasis on female submission; some turned preachers- God message on wives submission to their husbands became the theme. On many occasions, I have come across men who have said that a woman must give them something to respect before respect can be established; I have never failed in telling them also that men should also give women something to be respected for. I’d like to ask, do we really need to give each other something before one is seen as an individual worthy of worth? You see, the question of submission from women to me is a very silly demand to want. Women are sweet beings, loving, caring, accommodating and even understanding. Men keep asking for submission from women, now to the men, what have you given women to make them submit to you? Some men can’t even listen to their parents or even treat their mothers right, yet they are the first to talk about domination. Have really men portrayed what it means to be a man? Have they taken responsibilities for their actions? Have men understood the underlying notion of submission? Several questions need to be answered- several concepts need to be understood.

You can’t expect a woman to submit to a man that mistreats her, and unloves the essence of her value. You can’t expect a woman to submit to man who perceives her as an object worth objectifying or viewed as a second class citizen. A woman can only submit to a man who submits to God; unfortunately some men are small gods who can’t submit to God. Why then do you ask when you can’t give?

Some men think that the notion of submission means slavery, accepting everything he says, making him feel he’s the man and he alone exist, letting him take control of one’s life, not being able to receive advice from his wife, some even feel they are god. Some men keep asking for female submission, yet the subject of submission is not automatic, it’s earned just like respect. We shouldn’t even call it submission; I‘d call it respect – reciprocal. At a religious gathering where I was once at, the essence of female submission was emphasized, and the duties of the man as head was stated to be the provider, man of the house and so forth etc If I may ask, does it mean one should fail to submit when a man is unworthy of providing or meeting the needs of his family?

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply!

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. I think it all boils down to respect. If a man does not respect you he will take advantage of your submissiveness but if he respects you being submissive will come naturally and ut will be mutual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Very true, that’s y submission is earned


  2. The thing about people making religious references to “submission” ; the bible changes, just as time changes. When the bible was written, women weren’t counted , women weren’t educated. Eye for an eye, then grace came in. Now we live in a secular society. All humans have equal rights . Time has changed and so should our practices and beliefs. At least that is what I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      That’s true…I like ur comment

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Funke olotu says:

      People use submission in the Bible to control women, the Bible did not say submit to an abusive husband, the Bible does not change, people’s interpretation of what’s in the Bible needs to change

      Great post Nifemi 👍👍👍👍

      Liked by 1 person

      1. By change, I didn’t mean the bible is irrelevant. What I meant was that, the old testament talks about revenge of some sort or what we could call eye for an eye. But the new testament preaches grace and forgiveness. So yes, it did change. Now time has changed and our laws are based on human right. The bible is still very relevant but it changed from eye for an eye to grace.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oluwanifemi says:

        Thank u ooo…dz men just feel dat a woman must be loyal to them without caring if der abusive or mentally unfit. Thanks Funke


  3. Blessing says:

    Tho the Bible talks about women submitting to their husbands, it also talks about the couple submitting to one another as to the Lord, Ephesians 5:21
    After this is when it says wives Should submit to their husbands buh guys always skip the submitting to one another part, also there is a place it says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church!
    Christ died for the church to show his love!
    That’s why the church could easily submit to HIS Lordship because they know he loves them so much to the extent of dying for them even while they worth nothing…
    How many men love their wives even when they worth nothing yet, if all men love their wives just because the way Christ loves the church, why would the woman not want to submit?
    When u’re sure someone loves you no matter what it’s easy, very easy to obey, respect be as a wife submit to them…..
    Only a man subjected to the leading if the holy spirit can do that, may God help us choose such men…..


    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Thank you so much for this worthy comment. You have really enlightened the public…I hope men can learn from this.


  4. Shona says:

    Honestly ehn, this is a topic that If I even begin..I’m not going to stop.
    This mentality is mostly found in our African men. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be submissive or whatever but like you said..a man needs to submit to God before his wife can even submit to him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Lol…true, African men and their mentality. Thanks for visiting☺


  5. Immanuel says:

    You see the misconception of the the submission word is often taken out of context. I mean looking at the passage of scripture from which the idea of women submitting to their husband is drawn from,it will be clear to anyone with a keen mind of observation that it precede men loving their wives.

    you see the scripture is very deliberate why it says the woman to submit and the man to love.

    for one, it isnt easy for a man to love as such. thats why a man can sleep with anything under the skirts and have no emotional attachment or whatsoever which is entirely different for women. Women are biologically and physically configure to love which they do easily
    Now unto the women for the submission eish, let say the truth. it is hard naturally for women to submit. I felt the bible knowing about male ego enjoyed the feelings of being in charge

    so in short, men want to feel in charge, therefore women submit
    women want to be loved truthfully, then men should love

    when a man loved a women deeply and truthfully, it is easier for her to submit

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Gracia says:

    True talk my sister.

    Liked by 1 person

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