You shouldn’t talk about Marriage if you haven’t learnt how to Love

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It is not a lack of Love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche

The institution of Marriage has always been a continuous string that many people look forward to. Although the state of being married entails a voluntarily attachment for life, it’s however ironic that the bliss of some marriages is a sham. At least one out of countless of unions is undergoing a phase known as divorce. 

It is very easy to talk about love, fall in love and even propose marriage, but staying in love and staying together can be difficult. It is also important to note that loving someone isn’t the same as falling in love with someone. Just like lust and infatuation aren’t synonymous to Love. In my own view, Love is not just an emotion, feeling, affection or whatever meaning you give it, rather an embodiment of a package. The package of tolerance, patience, kindness, understanding, and any favourable virtues- in my own view, it is only when you’ve deeply understood and possessed these virtues that Love becomes beautiful. One of my best passages that I love in the Bible is 1st Corinthians 13 vs. 4-7.

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”


If the concept of Love entails the above mentioned, how much more in Marriage? The essence of marriage to me is overrated, and if I have my way I‘d rather stay in Love. Sometimes ago, I stumbled upon Kourtney Kardashians opinion on Marriage- “If things are so good now, why would we want to change that?” I pondered upon this statement over and over again with so much joy in my heart and finally carved a meaning. “To fall in love and stay in love is what encompasses a successful Union. You can fall apart and mend paths like friendship, but furthering into a higher degree is like a prison that cannot be broken out of many times as you please. If marriage were to yield love then it must have a virtue of freedom”.

On a daily basis, at least two women are pressured to get married or even stay married in an unhappy home. Marriage isn’t for everyone- it isn’t compulsory. When the subject of divorce is discussed, fingers are mostly pointed at the woman and then towards the man; no one points at the society. Unfortunately, the society comprises of you and I. We are all part of the problem, we shuns divorce yet quick in pressurizing the young, old, and unready individuals into knotting an eternal tie. We are part of the problem, especially to those who are instruments of breaking homes.

In failing to understand that Love isn’t just a word, but a quality with embedded worth; we are all part of the problem because falling in love is not enough, rather learning to love and stay in it. There’s no perfect marriage only lovers’ journeying through life. I’d stop here for now, and continue explaining further in further blog posts.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply! Don’t forget to get in touch with me on all social platforms @ adichiebabz

Email: adichiebabs


13 Comments Add yours

  1. Adetutu says:

    Right on point darling.. Right on point.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You nailed it. Love is not a warm, fuzzy feeling. It’s compassionate action driven by commitment. Love your posts. Welcome back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Lol..Thank you Larry!! Your comments are always what I look forward to seeing.


  3. aminatawa says:

    These days people get married just to have the title of being married. The society has a huge part to play in most in happy marriages and divorce rates. And yes like you said society consists of you and I.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      That’s true👍👍…Thanks for stopping by Aminatawa ☺…


  4. sephyjay says:

    Yes yes👏, I agree with you 101 percent!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Like Brian Tracy said in Maximum Achievement,most do not take time in “liking” their partner,so the structure falls like a pack of tarot cards.I agree with point Nifemi.Good job posting this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Thank You anonymouscherif ☺


  6. I love that quote that says its not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. And that scripture too. Love is deeper than people think but most of us don’t realize that. We just think it’s something one can toy with.
    Lovely writeup dear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Thanks ♡♡, true, some people have turned love to an instrument of manipulation with deceit.


  7. Funke olotu says:

    That verse is major key…

    This type of posts make me think, I’m like thinking so deep that I can’t put it in words

    Well done nifemi!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Lol…Funke!!! Your words seem to have a rhythm. Thanks ♡


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