It is not a lack of Love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche
The institution of Marriage has always been a continuous string that many people look forward to. Although the state of being married entails a voluntarily attachment for life, it’s however ironic that the bliss of some marriages is a sham. At least one out of countless of unions is undergoing a phase known as divorce.
It is very easy to talk about love, fall in love and even propose marriage, but staying in love and staying together can be difficult. It is also important to note that loving someone isn’t the same as falling in love with someone. Just like lust and infatuation aren’t synonymous to Love. In my own view, Love is not just an emotion, feeling, affection or whatever meaning you give it, rather an embodiment of a package. The package of tolerance, patience, kindness, understanding, and any favourable virtues- in my own view, it is only when you’ve deeply understood and possessed these virtues that Love becomes beautiful. One of my best passages that I love in the Bible is 1st Corinthians 13 vs. 4-7.
“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”
If the concept of Love entails the above mentioned, how much more in Marriage? The essence of marriage to me is overrated, and if I have my way I‘d rather stay in Love. Sometimes ago, I stumbled upon Kourtney Kardashians opinion on Marriage- “If things are so good now, why would we want to change that?” I pondered upon this statement over and over again with so much joy in my heart and finally carved a meaning. “To fall in love and stay in love is what encompasses a successful Union. You can fall apart and mend paths like friendship, but furthering into a higher degree is like a prison that cannot be broken out of many times as you please. If marriage were to yield love then it must have a virtue of freedom”.
On a daily basis, at least two women are pressured to get married or even stay married in an unhappy home. Marriage isn’t for everyone- it isn’t compulsory. When the subject of divorce is discussed, fingers are mostly pointed at the woman and then towards the man; no one points at the society. Unfortunately, the society comprises of you and I. We are all part of the problem, we shuns divorce yet quick in pressurizing the young, old, and unready individuals into knotting an eternal tie. We are part of the problem, especially to those who are instruments of breaking homes.
In failing to understand that Love isn’t just a word, but a quality with embedded worth; we are all part of the problem because falling in love is not enough, rather learning to love and stay in it. There’s no perfect marriage only lovers’ journeying through life. I’d stop here for now, and continue explaining further in further blog posts.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply! Don’t forget to get in touch with me on all social platforms @ adichiebabz