Another beautiful guest post on Depression by “ibukunwrites”
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” – Laurel K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss
My name is Angie,
Five years ago, I watched life seeped out of me
I saw darkness during the day
I lost delight in moonlight
My hands played sad notes
And melancholies became my favourite.
My eyes became dry
Life became meaningless
I found hope in bed
I found my voice in songs I never thought
I slept like the deads in the underworld
Food became an enemy
I couldn’t stomach much
It never seemed like a disease
I had just developed a new attitude towards food.
I never wanted to leave my bed
I watched the same movie everyday;
There was a comfort that came with that.
I listened to Schubert’s Serenade every minute
Yet it sounded like sadness.
I felt empty,
I was like a basket flowing out
Every good that tried to stay in me,
Something must have happened;
I couldn’t remember what or maybe I did
But I knew I used to be full of life.
I laid under the bathtub with water
over my body trying to die but I couldn’t go on;
I just knew I couldn’t go on like that
I had become numb to pain
and I needed help
but my voice was too far gone to cry for one,
Maybe I never really wanted to be heard.
My life became Albinoni’s Adagio;
No words just strings of sadness
Then I knew that I had died
the day Andrew died
and in loneliness I found a magic cloak
where only I could see myself;
I became invisible in a twinkle of years
but they called it Depression!
©Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi
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