Dazzling Facade

Another beautiful guest post on “Depression” by Ellis B. Jacobs

psychotic-depression

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

At the end of the notice it had said that Cool Pete and some other musical stars, which I am a big fan of, would be judges and present. A huge part of me was scared that I might make a few mistakes but I do know my worth and I wanted to give it a shot. Right now, I am really prepared for this.

I had rehearsed the song over and over again. Well, my room is almost a musical recording studio -I own an electric guitar, a piano that perched on its stand at the corner of our room close to my bed. I also own a dr. beats headphones and my laptop is both a mixer and a recorder –and I have on several occasions done a voice recording of songs by my favorite artists, both male and female. And I know I sounded good.

I have a lot of Cool Pete’s CDs and I know a lot of his songs lyrics off hand. His lyrics always made me excited and feel like we both have a connection. Each time I try to imitate his dance moves, I always find myself grinning from ear to ear like a fool. I have a special folder on my iPod dedicated to his musicals and songs alone.

This evening I am careful to have chosen a song by one of my favorite female artist. I decided on Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’. My tag number was #19. I am cool with this number because this will give me enough time to go over the song again, as a matter of fact it is on repeat on my iPod, before it will be my turn. Because I don’t want anything to go wrong, I ate a slice of bread and drank a cup of coffee. Moreover, it is my belief that I can sing better and use my whistle technic well on an empty stomach. In short, I am ready to break a leg on that stage tonight!

Finally, the wait is over and I am called in to show them what I’ve got. As I make my entry into the stage, I move my sling bag over my head, careful not ruin my make-up, and drop it on the floor near me. Wow! –Cool Pete is seated directly opposite me with a pen in his hand placed over a pad of papers. His head is slightly bowed over the pad of papers as he says, “number 19, Miss Omotola Jaiyeola…” and looks up to me. We make eye contact and he smiles briefly.

His smile becomes my undoing as I begin to feel heat reverberate the whole of my body and everything south of my body tightens with this feeling.

OMG! He is so cute I could kiss him right now! His lips are like lollipops, I want to lick them. His eyes are distinctly set on whatever object –right now I am that object- they are focused on as if they are burrowing into it, searching for something hidden. The corners of his eyes crease slightly adding to his manliness. Clear white set of beautiful teeth are displayed as he smiles. Oh! That slight twinkle coming from a corner near his left ear will definitely be the studs I am accustomed to him wearing, gets me captivated. His clear fair skin color is breath-taking as it handsomely contrasts with his pitch-dark neat crew cut hair that looks like it is sprayed black. The shape of his hair cut overly adds to his beautiful face.

 My throat suddenly goes dry and I find myself swallowing hard in order to get it lubricated with whatever is left of the saliva in my mouth. About a minute later, I find my voice and manage a whisper of ‘yes’. That sounded more like, ‘Yes baby come get it!’ in my head. I am absolutely turned-on!

“Okay…” he says, “let’s get this started.” I gave myself a quick mind-slap, my body gradually succumbs to my orders and all I can mutter is ‘uhm, uhmm… I’ll be doing Adele’s ‘Someone like You’’

“Please proceed”, Cool Pete says as he gestures with his left hand and my eyes catches a gold chain that move slightly up and down his wrist. I can’t help but notice his well-manicured finger nails.

Clearing my throat once again, I begin to sing slowly and lowly the initial part of the song, “I heard that you settled down that you found a girl and you…” Reaching the chorus, I become more audible and brazen raising my right hand, and my plastic pink bangles make a slight jingle, to relish the sweetness of my own voice, “…Never mind I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the…” stressing the “you” efficaciously in a musical way. “…sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.” Getting to the last part of the song, I pause for some five seconds before singing the last two words to create a brief atmosphere of suspense and expectation.

As soon as I am done I open my eyes, which I didn’t realize were shut until now, to the small applaud of my six-man audience, four of which are judges.

The other three judges stand up to take a pee-break to return in ten minutes. To my surprise, Cool Pete is walking up to me as I pick up my sling bag. He is smiling that his –OMG! Cutest-smile-ever-in-the-world –as he, in two swift strides, is up with me on the stage. “Hi”, I say not taking my eyes off him. “Hi”, he says mirroring my action. He is so close to me right now and all of my senses are feeding on his being. My nostrils are filled with his masculine perfume mixed with the fruity smell of his body wash. My eyes are frantically searching his for a go-ahead-and-kiss-me cue. My tongue is involuntarily moving in my mouth wanting to be set free to work her magic on every inch of his face. And body, if permits.depression_by_avitanor-d62n5r7

I take a step backwards toward the stage curtains to give myself a little bit of space and blink my eyes twice rapidly. He takes a step even closer towards me.

Right now, all I want is to kiss and be kissed by him. I am equally apprehensive that the pee-break will soon be over and that will cut us short, sooner than I want to be.

As if reading my raging thoughts, I hear Cool Pete say, “Fuck this Shit!” and he is kissing me real hard. Kissing my upper lip and then my lower lip – meticulously sucking my tongue. As if controlled by my lust, I quickly drop my sling bag on the floor of the stage and my right hand is in his beautifully cut hair while my left hand is caressing his sideburn.

As if waltzing, he spins me towards the backstage. All this while kissing him and been kissed by him, I yield myself to the command of his movement and moan softly. The backstage is room enough for us to get intimate with each other. Either side of it is leading to both the male and female change and restrooms.

Cool Pete pins me with his hips to a wall close to the door of the female change room and continues with a show-off of his kissing ability. Freeing my lips, Cool Pete rains gentle kisses from my ears, tugging gently at my earlobes with his teeth, down to my neck. This gets me further aroused, my lips are slightly parted and my breathing is heavier, and I want him to do more than just kiss me. As if reading my thoughts again, both of his hands are on my hips, slightly parting my legs, he lifts me up a little, my back against the wall and I feel his erection close to my left thigh. I respond to his every move.

Not expecting but liking it, he grabs my behind and gives them both a slight squeeze before moving his hand inside the black legging I am wearing, further into my panties, and even furthermore, he slides both his middle and ring fingers into my organ, briefly caressing my clitoris with his thumb. As his fingers are moving in and out of me, I unbutton the first four buttons of my oversized pink vintage shirt. With only a shoot up of my chest, Cool Pete has access to my breasts. With his free hand, between his thumb and index fingers he rolls each nipple at a time and completes the action by sucking them, hard. I assist him to get better access, when I heard a groan escape his throat, by pressing his head closer to them and arch my back so that I throw my head back to savor the pleasure I am getting.

I am amazed at his ability to keep up with the in-and-out thrusts of his fingers inside of me and at the same time really sucking my nipples. My orgasm is beginning to build. I can feel it inside me and Cool Pete increases the tempo of the in-and-out thrusts of his fingers. Suddenly he stops! Aww! Don’t stop! And then I hear him say “my turn.”  What??! My heart races as he gently lowers me back to my feet leaving me hanging when I am almost reaching my climax. Almost like a command, but in a whisper, he tells me to go on my knees and I do as I am told. I hear the sound of his ripped blue jean zipper and in matter of seconds, he is free from his confines and I can’t help but gasp wide-eyed at his erection. I smack my lips to relish him. His erection is slightly slapping the side of my mouth in readiness for me to suck it really hard…

 The slaps intensify and is solid enough to bring me back to reality. Cool Pete is in a squat position in front of me slapping my cheek, with his right hand, in an effort to bring me back from my reverie and careful not to hurt me.

“…Miss Tola, are you alright?” Cool Pete asks concern evident in his voice. When I become conscious of my surrounding, I realize I am in a kneeling posture on stage with my mouth slightly open looking up to the man, who even in a crouched position, is taller than I am. Frowning a little at my awkward posture an ‘uhn!’ mumbles its way out of my mouth through my nostrils.

Delicately and slowly, carrying my sling bag, with Cool Pete’s help, I rise to my feet. And suddenly, shit! –I am aware than I am wet! I know I am not on my period. But I am stained with my own ‘Pussy juice!’ Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!

This can’t be happening again! Looking back up to face Cool Pete for the briefest seconds, Irritation? Disgust? Concern? I don’t know which one it is –is boldly written on his face. When he thinks I have fully regained my stamina, he quickly lets go of my hand.

Ashamed and sad, I walk away from the stage, to the reception and find my way into a taxi. All I want to do right is get to my room and cry.

What have I just done? I try remembering the whole scene again. Two other people among the judges were standing over me, where I knelt down, looking very alarmed. I could hear another person on the phone with someone, saying that they had a situation. When I walked past them, the same person on the phone hissed and said into the phone that everything is under control. After singing, did I suddenly fall to my knees? Tears trickle down my cheeks uncontrollably and I angrily wipe them away with the back of my hand as I sniff.

Luckily for me I am the only passenger at the back of the taxi so nobody has to see me cry. As soon as I get to the building I live in, I quickly rushing to my room ascending the stairs that lead to my room quicker than I would have on a normal day.

I am very hungry and so I make myself a small and quick dinner of pancakes and yet another cup of coffee. I am tired and as soon as I am done eating, I rid myself of my clothing that now looks filthy to me in our laundry cane basket. I replace them with my pink velvet- colored pajamas. I climb into the warmth of my cozy bed and thick duvet and slowly drift off to sleep with having my bath.

I find myself in a place where my Mom and Dad and I are happy together. It is out in an open field. We are on a picnic and I can see a younger happy me with my Mom and Dad. My Mom is on a picnic mat putting our food in disposable plastic plates. My Dad and I are throwing freebies and suddenly my Dad’s laughter fades to a frown. Suddenly everything blacks out…

…Again, I am a little girl withdrawing from a wall I had scampered to for cover from a scary monster that stared me in the face. The wall is my Aunty, my Dad’s sister and she is dressed in a black dress smiling kindly at me with sadness in the corners of her eyes. Then I looked down at my feet and I am wearing a black couture shoe of my size with a cream kiddie’s panty hose and a flared black dress to match. We are in an open field and I can see some other people also dressed in black attires. They all look sad. I could see my Mom’s younger sister held by someone I don’t know, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief… What is going on??!!

…I am in another house that is not our house. The ceiling is not as white as the one in our house. The curtains drapes over the windows are dull and sad. I am very unhappy now. My Dad’s elder sister carries me in her laps so she can feed me my food. I eat a little and then I climb out of her laps to go and sit down on the sofa I had been sleeping, staring into space. She rises from the dining table after she is done eating and tells me she is off to work and she will be back later in the evening. She instructs that Bassey, a domestic worker in the house, should look after me and give me lunch when it is time. As soon as my Aunty is gone, Bassey is mopping the living room where I am watching a cartoon on TV that seems boring to me. I feel sleepy but I want to wait a little for my Aunty to return.

He stands in front of me, blocking my view. The sleepiness hanging heavy on my eyelids disappear immediately. He sits beside me and is saying something I don’t understand. Abruptly, he puts his right hand on my thigh and I try to shove it off but he is stronger and forceful than I am. I want to stand up and run away to hide under my bed till my Aunty returns but his other hand is holding me down. I want to cry but he frowns at me and puts his index over my mouth to shush me.

He lifts me from the sofa I am sitting on and is taking me up the stairs. I want to shout and cry again but he has cup my mouth with his free hand. He takes me into a room I’ve never been before and puts me down on the mattress there. He knees in front of me on the mattress and gawks at me. He is removing my dress and pant. His fingers are snaking up to my thigh and into my ‘genital.’ After this, I can feel a rod that feels like skin but is hard pressing against me. He twirls me around swiftly and there is a hard slap across my buttocks and…

My eyes flicker open and I am cover in a pool of my own sweat. I look around the room and I am back in my apartment. I lay my head back to sleep but I can’t because I am scared of what I will see in my dreams again. Confused and not knowing what to do, I begin to cry. This is not the first time I am having this kind of dream.

©Ellis B. Jacobs

About the Writer: Ellis B. Jacobs is a Mass communication student of Elizade University.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. newvideos31 says:

    🙂 THANK YOU
    (██./ .˛ .˛..★ ★ 。
    ˛. (´• ̮•)˛°/.♫.♫˛. ˛_Π_____. * ˛*
    .°( . • . ) ˛°./• ‘♫ ‘ •.˛*./______/~\ *. ˛*.。
    *(…’•’.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.|田田 |門|╬╬╬╬ .
    ¯˜”*°•♥•°*”˜¯´¯˜”*°•♥•°*”˜¯ ´¯˜”*°´¯˜”*°•♥•°
    http://www.dailymotion.com/metekan

    Like

  2. Oluchee says:

    Wow

    Liked by 1 person

Share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s