To my Four Single Friends who Love Chocolates more than Boys

PhotoGrid_1452353750255

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.”
― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

It’s exactly eleven pm, and our eyes are wet with tears. We are all trying hard not to cry, so we bury ourselves into the things we do to stay alive. Tiffanie is clinging to her teddy bear while Christie is hiding beneath her duvet; Sarah is trying to tear a bar of chocolate while Danielle is fixed on her phone trying to make a call. I, on the other am jumping around in frustration, calling the name of all the guys in my life who I have ditched while waiting for the perfect man. Everyone calls me Lizzy the ghost watcher; I stalk my friends on social media and monitor their lives in the present world, I give them relationship advice and try so hard to keep my relationships that barely last a month.

We had just finished watching “The Fault in Our Stars” and was  drowning in our hidden tears, the sentiment about cancer is something that touches the heart, but the fact is- a love story stirred our hearts. We were all single and trying so hard to find love.

The worst of us who tried so hard to show the world she was depressed was Sarah, the well shaped one among us, the only one who always ate chocolate when she was depressed about being single. The mobile phone was Sarah best friend, she never stopped ranting about her lonely life on every social platform about her struggles in life in a quest to steal a stolen man who eventually would end up getting stolen from her, or about how Nigerian Jollof was better Ghanaian Jollof, or how Yoruba guys break girls heart, and Igbo guys smell girls destinies. She was just too ambitious in finding love considering her last break up from the first guy who had ever asked her out. I used to tell her, “My Dear Sarah, you don’t have to post about your pathetic single life of stalking hot dudes on Instagram who turn out to be gay or giving the world updates on how many weight loss drugs you’ve bought in other to become a size 8, all you need to do is to change the rules- update your status about Bae (Bae got me this, Bae is the best) even though there is no one and try to take beautiful pictures with random hot dudes, upload them from time to time, act as if you are taken and through this action, and trust me guys would begin to ping you. Ever wonder why guys like to hang around a taken lady?” I would say to Sarah whenever she lamented on how she loved money and chocolates more than boys even though she was secretly waiting on one to touch her heart.

Christie was the one with the least problem, I guess…all she did was to hide beneath her duvet and caress her bare beauty in her body. I had always told her countless of times that the body was not meant to be enjoyed alone. Her fantasies of being in love with her lecturers husband, and dating someone’s who didn’t know she’s in love with him were the struggles she dreamt about while she thought about the scenes from fifty shades of gray while caressing herself.

I know Tiffinie was little less depressed even though she lamented on her definition of a perfect man to everyone who cared- tall, dark, rich, handsome, sexually active, must have an expensive car, well built, God fearing, not a mama’s boy, and most of all caring. Countless of times I would say to her “Life begins with a step, rather than swinging your light skin body to all the women who cares to see, why not fling it for the set of guys who you have said no to countless of times, not because you don’t like them, rather you enjoy the pleasure in saying No without considering the fact that the wrinkles around your eyes is not as a result of any reaction to your make up rather its sign of old age”.

We used to think that sitting along the hall way, hiding in the dark corners and allowing us feed on the silent conversations on the phone was what it meant to be in love; Danielle, dark and toned with beautiful touches of black would glue herself to the screen on her phone and talk for long hours while we struggles in our hearts on how lucky she was amidst the five of us. Those sweet words she said about Bae, those hot pictures of Bae and endless conversations on why she hadn’t introduced Bae to us because we were single and may snatch Bae from her were thoughts we scrambled in hearts while trying to stand alone. We used to think that turning away all the guys in your life meant staying true to your Guy, but they were all depressing methods Danielle had coupled together to feed on her insecurities of not finding love but remaining lonely.

I know it’s a difficult world, but what can do? Rather we have girls night to watch all the romantic movies we know, and listen to Adele songs in order to make us miss a man we do not have.

20 Comments Add yours

  1. levybraide says:

    LOL. This post just made me laugh. Reminds me of a lot of people and you all sound like pretty ladies.

    I don’t know if this is a real story or not but my advice. Thing is guys see girls as conquest. You’ve gotta be something. And that something attracts them. Instead of sitting and thinking about how single you all are. Live your life, have fun and learn to be happy in your ” singleness” have your girls night out, go out to see movies, basically just so fun things. Dress well and just be happy. And the guys will come. ( please and please posting about how single you are would just scare boys ) – lol
    Off to read your other works

    http://www.theblackwriter.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Lolz…thankz for taking your time to read d post, God bless you…thats a true advice for gurls who are single

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Zulzz says:

    I enjoyed reading this. Hehe single girls! I agree with what levy said. Girls should just enjoy life, many times we forget the freedom we enjoy as single ladies until we’re married. I’ve learned to embrace being single by loving God, following the plans He has for and my family and relationships.

    Is this a series though ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Thanks for commenting dear…I totally wif you…noo it iznt a series…but I wld try to lay my hand on sm writingz involving relationships

      Like

  3. Deb says:

    For starters…thanks for the follow. Secondly,this post was hilarious,and I relates to some of it too-being single and all. I agree with the others,have loads of fun. My single friend and are planning a lots of weekend trips to just enjoy ourselves and maybe meet people. If we meet them-epic, if not-we still have loads of fun. Thing is most of my married friends have so many sob stories that don’t necessarily have me teeming with envy. I am all for enjoying the single life for now. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      I like the tone girl power in ur comment…sometimes people rush in marriage without realizing it requires a whole lot of attention…thanks for stopping by…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oluchee says:

    I pride myself in my independence and self sufficiency and I like to think I’m better being single. But sometimes…just sometimes, i feel it wouldn’t hurt to get those every-morning/night wake up/goodnight ping/text that people get tired of. I mean.. let them sha come first and let me decide to get tired.

    I don’t feel bad for myself. I don’t feel totally good. I just feel ok. If man comes, fine. If man comes not, fine. I have a little bit of pride and I’m not close to desperate so I’m not yet ready to ask a guy out. But I feel a little pity for those girls that go all out and update status of being lonely and craving love and wanting some sugar… ugghh get a hold of yourselves babes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Thnkz for commenting😆…I rilli like d way u structured out ur sentences…plain truth…single women shldnt forget to kip a bit of pride for demslvs while tryin to find a way out of d single Zone…

      Like

  5. I just Love this post. So realistic!.
    Please and please let us enjoy every single bit of our single days o. Live, laugh, have fun while waiting for the one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Tanx :)….hahaha..thats the medicine for every challenge-to live and laugh.

      Like

  6. wow, now I know I have been missing a lot. Maybe I can use this space to get a peek into the mind of single ladies, maybe I wont be so single afterall.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. DailyBells Online Editor says:

    I really love this write up. Quite interesting and full of life. Great use of descriptive power. Maybe we can try to work out something together on my site, DailyBells Nigeria

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      ‘M happy u lyk dz write…a depiction of what revolves around d lives of single and probably desperate singles… I ‘d be looking forward to wrkin wif u😊….thnkz for stopping by

      Like

      1. DailyBells Online Editor says:

        Thanks so much for your reply. Kindly reach out to me via dailybellsnigeria@yahoo.com, or my mobile line 08025237926.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oluwanifemi says:

        Okay…wld send u a mail…thnkx

        Like

  8. LoL. You are a clown! I LOVE this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      If I catch u…awwwn..thnkz my baby 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. opeoluwakunlere says:

    I loved reading this 😂
    It’s sooooo relatable, I could literally see my friends and I eating chocolates, watching movies and checking Instagram for pictures of hot guys and couples and thinking 😭😭 why don’t we have bae? This should be me 😭😂
    And when we’re back to Earth, we realize it’s not a priority and perfection takes time. +we’re just silly 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oluwanifemi says:

      Hahahaha…lolz…’m happy u cld relate to it coz itz a reflection into d lives of sm single gurlz☺thnkz for reading..

      Like

Share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s